Am a fan of the cold. Your first lines have me moving toward the air conditioner! But when cold closes things in--yes! I like the way your lines make me feel about cold and enclosed things.
The second's lines are great:
'Set something on fire.
Run a current through a wire.'
and the title:
WHEN YOU NEED MORE LIGHT
I used to work in electronics and that evoked that electricity vibe! Each line meaningful and thoughtful. I need more of both. Thank you!
Delightful poems. And a marvelous spin on Frost's famous saying. I think, however, he played with his net a time or two as well. I'm thinking in particular of "After Apple-Picking" -- one of my all-time faves.
I think the recent one works better, probably because it’s more streamlined, as pickle ball is to tennis, to keep with Frost. Its imagery is clearer too, even though it has fewer descriptive adjectives, which can often just clot the line. Great title, great opening couplet. Maybe you could streamline it even further by cutting the articles.
"Set something on fire" lol such a good poem. Doff!
So glad you like it! My poet-self has got some chutzpah. "Set something on fire" indeed.
Loved both poems!
Favorite line—“Read for the words that shine through lies.”
"Now memorize." ❤️
Thanks for your faithful reading, Looocinda!
Am a fan of the cold. Your first lines have me moving toward the air conditioner! But when cold closes things in--yes! I like the way your lines make me feel about cold and enclosed things.
The second's lines are great:
'Set something on fire.
Run a current through a wire.'
and the title:
WHEN YOU NEED MORE LIGHT
I used to work in electronics and that evoked that electricity vibe! Each line meaningful and thoughtful. I need more of both. Thank you!
Thank you so much, jm! I'm grateful for such an attentive and appreciative reading.
Delightful poems. And a marvelous spin on Frost's famous saying. I think, however, he played with his net a time or two as well. I'm thinking in particular of "After Apple-Picking" -- one of my all-time faves.
Thanks, Jonathan! And you're right, of course, Frost happily played with metre when he felt like it. "Fire and Ice" is another example.
When You Need More Light —lovely! “Set something on fire”—wonderful!
Fun to discover that my poet-self is reckless enough to put "set something on fire" in the first line! Thank you for reading, Marlena.
Wonderful, as always.
Barb
Thank you for being such a faithful reader, Ms. Barb.
Terrific! Very enjoyable and good philosophy.
Thanks, Weston! Glad to have you reading, as always.
I think the recent one works better, probably because it’s more streamlined, as pickle ball is to tennis, to keep with Frost. Its imagery is clearer too, even though it has fewer descriptive adjectives, which can often just clot the line. Great title, great opening couplet. Maybe you could streamline it even further by cutting the articles.