You captured this feeling so well. I feel this feeling every week. That the last letter I wrote will be the last letter. But every week I still surprise myself. It’s kind of thrilling.
And you're working through that PLUS a teething, occasionally-sleeping baby in the house! You're right, it is a thrill when something new comes together, isn't it?
I've got a pretty regular writing practice, but recently joined the Stafford Challenge https://staffordchallenge.com/ and am quietly endeavoring to write every day in 2024. It does my heart good to hear from someone on the other side of a year of daily writing.
A year? What an achievement! I imagine, like me, you often run into writers who tell similar stories--or artists, or comedians, or... There is a wonderful level of humility in being unsure we have an endless supply of creativity in us, despite solid evidence to the contrary. Performance anxiety, perhaps? For me, I think it's related to perfectionism and a fear that what comes out won't land the way I hope it will for those who read. And still, we write. I definitely saw myself in these lines!
Elizabeth, I love the idea of creative uncertainty as a kind of humility; that's a good counterbalance to my experience of it as a lack of trust in myself (not attentive enough to "catch" the ideas that float by or bubble up). Humility makes a kinder assessment: Sometimes I'm good at catching the ideas and sometimes it's harder, so what helps me do it well? Humility doesn't expect everything to be easy, so it turns "This is hard" from self-blame (I'm lazy, I'm bad at this) to a question (What would help me do this hard thing?).
All this to say: I'm so glad you saw yourself in this poem, and I'm so glad you commented on it because your comment helped me understand something valuable. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your anxiety about writing and being able to continue to write. As a fellow writer I totally understand and am totally inspired by your writing practice and your resulting poems.
"Some people are hard-wired for certain kinds of anxiety, and some of those people are poets, and one of those poets is me." 🤣 ME TOO! 🤣 Thanks so much for sharing this - not only is it a fantastic poem (as always), but also such really relatable glimpse into, you know, life :)
Thanks so much for reading and letting me know that you feel it, Sydney. And thank you for the appreciative restack over in Notes. Deep breaths, and a new page ...!
Beautifully said, and written. Congratulations on finishing your (first) year of writing each day. I’m just starting mine. Not going great so far because I keep letting life intrude (ggggrrrrr). But I’ll get better. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for being here and reading and speaking up, Val! The best advice I got on regular writing was: set yourself a daily quota, but/and keep it LOW. Twenty minutes a day? Fantastic. Twenty minutes twice a day? Miraculous. Two pages a day? Heaven. Four pages a day? Slow down, you'll burn yourself out; save some juice for tomorrow. Amazing how much gets done in the long run, just by dinking around a little bit on the daily.
I let life intrude more than once, and Covid upended me for several weeks in the middle of the year, and it's still been an amazing run. Grateful every day.
Ah yes, a certain angst has lived in me from time to time. Over different issues than yours perhaps but the tenseness of suspecting an unknown thing might happen and catch me unaware. I have been free of that angst for many years, but I do recall the feeling. For me I think it was living and working in the city. I am a country person who needs an open horizon to ponder.
I'm just reading back through your archives and this one met me in perfect timing.
You captured this feeling so well. I feel this feeling every week. That the last letter I wrote will be the last letter. But every week I still surprise myself. It’s kind of thrilling.
And you're working through that PLUS a teething, occasionally-sleeping baby in the house! You're right, it is a thrill when something new comes together, isn't it?
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Marc.
Next time you put pen to that notebook, remember we are your audience eager to
read your next best poem!
Elizabeth—you do not disappoint!
Thank you, sister Looocinda!
A new poem is on its way. ❤️
I've got a pretty regular writing practice, but recently joined the Stafford Challenge https://staffordchallenge.com/ and am quietly endeavoring to write every day in 2024. It does my heart good to hear from someone on the other side of a year of daily writing.
Cheering you on, Kortney! That looks like a great challenge to be part of.
My practice has been "imperfectly daily" this last year, and that's been enough to be (quietly) life-changing.
Imperfectly daily and (quietly) life-changing feel like the perfect talismans for this journey!
Yes!!!
This is a great piece, and a sentiment many can sympathize with!
Thanks so much, Brian.
A year? What an achievement! I imagine, like me, you often run into writers who tell similar stories--or artists, or comedians, or... There is a wonderful level of humility in being unsure we have an endless supply of creativity in us, despite solid evidence to the contrary. Performance anxiety, perhaps? For me, I think it's related to perfectionism and a fear that what comes out won't land the way I hope it will for those who read. And still, we write. I definitely saw myself in these lines!
Elizabeth, I love the idea of creative uncertainty as a kind of humility; that's a good counterbalance to my experience of it as a lack of trust in myself (not attentive enough to "catch" the ideas that float by or bubble up). Humility makes a kinder assessment: Sometimes I'm good at catching the ideas and sometimes it's harder, so what helps me do it well? Humility doesn't expect everything to be easy, so it turns "This is hard" from self-blame (I'm lazy, I'm bad at this) to a question (What would help me do this hard thing?).
All this to say: I'm so glad you saw yourself in this poem, and I'm so glad you commented on it because your comment helped me understand something valuable. Thank you!
It takes a village, right? 😊
Wonderful. Thanks!
Thanks for reading, Paul!
Thanks for sharing your anxiety about writing and being able to continue to write. As a fellow writer I totally understand and am totally inspired by your writing practice and your resulting poems.
Thanks so much, Rose. ❤️
Thanks so much for both the poem and your story. I see I'm not the only one who's resonating.
Thank you for reading and sharing the resonance, Sulima! Grateful for you and for all those who've read and commented.
"Some people are hard-wired for certain kinds of anxiety, and some of those people are poets, and one of those poets is me." 🤣 ME TOO! 🤣 Thanks so much for sharing this - not only is it a fantastic poem (as always), but also such really relatable glimpse into, you know, life :)
Anxiety sisters!!!❤️!!!
Thanks so much for reading and letting me know that you feel it, Sydney. And thank you for the appreciative restack over in Notes. Deep breaths, and a new page ...!
💕One deep breath at a time, one new page at a time 🤣
Beautifully said, and written. Congratulations on finishing your (first) year of writing each day. I’m just starting mine. Not going great so far because I keep letting life intrude (ggggrrrrr). But I’ll get better. Thank you for this.
Thank you so much for being here and reading and speaking up, Val! The best advice I got on regular writing was: set yourself a daily quota, but/and keep it LOW. Twenty minutes a day? Fantastic. Twenty minutes twice a day? Miraculous. Two pages a day? Heaven. Four pages a day? Slow down, you'll burn yourself out; save some juice for tomorrow. Amazing how much gets done in the long run, just by dinking around a little bit on the daily.
I let life intrude more than once, and Covid upended me for several weeks in the middle of the year, and it's still been an amazing run. Grateful every day.
Well done showing up fully for yourself in your writing! I appreciate you sharing your journey of self-discovery with us.
This is one of my favourite poems of yours, it calls on so many layers of being a contemplative human. You’re speaking to so many.
Thank you so much for your reading and appreciation, Donna.
Ah yes, a certain angst has lived in me from time to time. Over different issues than yours perhaps but the tenseness of suspecting an unknown thing might happen and catch me unaware. I have been free of that angst for many years, but I do recall the feeling. For me I think it was living and working in the city. I am a country person who needs an open horizon to ponder.
So glad you have the horizon that you need, Sandy. ❤️
Keep going! You've had a remarkable year and I am so looking forward to reading many more poems from you!
Thank you, Pamela! I hope and intend to keep going, a day and a word at a time. ❤️
Yes!
I think you did an accurate job showing the fear of losing that magic spark, that lovely conversation we can be privy to. Nice job.
Thank you, Wes. Have fun on Sunday!
“….plump and glossy with completion….” is a great phrase.
A life of waiting for the other shoe to drop perhaps..
Thanks, Shari. You've perfectly described a certain kind (my kind!) of nervous "hard-wiring."